The Art of Believing in Happiness

These past few years have been an astonishing jumble of happiness and quite mad events.

So many misadventures preceded this time in which I have* loved Nic, that, primarily, I am often quite confused at the fact that I’m actually getting out of life exactly what I want. I still expect, almost daily, although to a lesser extent than I used to, that I will wake up one day and find that all this has been a dream. That is how it has seemed for these years in which I have finally found my happiness.

How did all this happen? How did I get all this? All this . . . ‘stuff’ that I actually want??? How did I find my joy?

It seems like a miracle some days. I worked for it, but that makes it no less miraculous. Sometimes, things just don’t work out no matter how hard you try. But here we are, day after day, creating this beautiful life, together, with a common vision, and a lot of laughter. When so many things have gone wrong in my past, it is a surprise when I get what I have really always wanted, but perhaps forgot I was eligible for:

A loving, caring, and hilarious husband. A fluffy, loving, caring, and hilarious dog. A home to share with them both. A career – not just a string of jobs. The potential for motherhood.

As you know, not all the past three years’ events have been made of happiness, but overall – despite depression, and difficult times, and heartbreak – overall, I am certainly on the Throne of All My Happiest Days So Far ™. And as with all adventures, the greatest Life Adventures do not, and cannot, exist if there is not some goal that is yet insurmountable. With all this joy, we’re going to keep making more of it. We’re going to keep on adventuring. 

I am going to believe in miracles. I am going to believe in hard earned joy. I am going to believe in happiness. 

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*have Known that I did. we’d been friends for years, but a courtship never really occurred to me until one day, out of nowhere, life shouted at me clear as day, You love this man! I’ll tell you about that another time. it’s a pretty cool story. And involves books and continents and adventure.

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