Grief Without Faith

I spent some time reading pregnancy loss stories tonight. I have a lot to say about facing this kind of loss. But I’m going to leave it with these thoughts for tonight, because otherwise we’ll end up with a long angry ranty piece of work that I don’t really want any of us to have to read right now.  

 

I am thankful for all the stories my fellow empty armed mothers have shared. Despite the horrible reminder of what we’ve all been through, these stories also remind me that I’m not alone, and that the horrible cyclone of grief I experience daily is not abnormal. 

 

I have two issues with all these blogs and articles and stories…. 

 

1. It seems like all these women got to see their baby. I feel like a fraud. There was no fetus. He never made it that far. I can’t even frame a little picture of my alien strongbad looking baby in my womb. Because he never made it that far. All I got was emptiness. They didn’t even let me keep the picture of that hollow darkness. 

 

2. All these stories seem to be from the perspective of Christian women. I need to know how to cope and this view point does not help me. I can’t pretend to believe in a God I don’t believe in just so I can have some comfort. I need to know how to cope as a non religious, non christian, part time earth worshiping tree hugger, with atheistic tendencies. I need to know how to cope from a Non Religious standpoint. Where are the articles for people like me??

 

It’s hard enough dealing with pregnancy and child loss without feeling even further separated from the rest of ‘our kind.’

Where are the articles on Grief without Faith? 

Seriously, please, someone tell me. I’m losing my fucking mind.

 

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