The Scar: A Harry Potter Alternate Universe

Harry Potter has been part of my life for 17 years. Interesting how numbers can be important. A witch or wizard comes of age at 17.

 

And after 17 years of Harry Potter, yesterday I realized that my son is exactly the age Harry was when Lily and James died.

 

This got me thinking, once more, about all the things that scare me about parenthood, primarily, What would happen to my baby if something happened to me and Nic?  

 

I envisioned the scene at Godric’s Hollow. Voldemort walking through the broken Fidelius Charm and into the Potter’s home. I saw Lily pick up toddler Harry and race up the stairs as James tried to hold Voldemort off without his wand.

I grabbed my light-up holly and phoenix feather wand and carried it with me all day, even inside my oversized handbag while out shopping at the grocery store with C, even knowing it’s a kid’s toy, containing two aaa batteries, instead of being made of willow, or being good for charm work. Not exactly a match for a dark wizard’s unforgivable curses. It was a psychological security measure.

 

I thought about what would happen . . . like, even if a dark wizard didn’t show up, what if . . .

 

What if there really had been a car crash like Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon had always told Harry that Lily and James had died in?

 

I thought about my sister, and how, thankfully, she’s about as unDursleyish as I am. Though she’s got two kids of her own, I know that she would do her best to take good care of my baby, raise him like her own, give him everything she could and make sure he knows he is deeply loved by his whole family.

 

So, what if that had been the case with Harry? What if his aunt and uncle had cared more?

 

What if Harry ‘s cool aunt & uncle had raised him on elaborate tales of magical heritage and a narrow escape from an evil dark wizard after his parents died . . . in a car crash.

 

The perfect opposite of what happened in the series. Harry as an ordinary boy whose loving aunt and uncle told him bedtime stories about a wizarding world to cheer him up as he grew up parentless?

 

I discussed this with my sister all afternoon.

 

If anything happens to me and Nic, Bettie and Oslowe know what to do.

 

And now, without further ado, my rewrite of an excerpt from Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by J.K. Rowling

 

Chapter One. The Boy Who Lived.

Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number 4 Privet Drive, were perfectly normal, if normal were a thing that actually existed. They were above average people who might be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they were fascinated by that sort of thing.

. . . Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley’s sister, but they hadn’t met for several years, because the country was just too big and neither of them had the budget for regular visits.

. . . When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the bright, cloudless Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the blue sky outside to suggest that a profoundly personal tragedy would soon be gripping news readers all over the country.

. . .

Chapter Two.

Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had been woken by the police bringing their nephew up the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all.

. . . Only the photographs on the mantlepiece really showed how much time had passed. Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-coloured bobble hats – but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large, blond boy riding his first bicycle, beside his dark haired cousin, both grinning with matching ripped trouser knees from where they’d fallen one after another around the same corner as they learned how to ride. There was no sign that the second boy hadn’t always lived there.

Harry Potter was asleep at the moment, but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her voice which made the first sound of the day.

“Up, boys! Get up!”

Harry woke with a start. His aunt knocked on the door again.

“Come on, get up!”

Harry heard her walking down the stairs and towards the kitchen, and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the cooker. He rolled on to his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a huge fire engine in it. He had a funny feeling he’d had the same dream before.

 

. . . Harry had always been small and skinny for his age. . . He had a thin face, knobbly knees, black hair and bright-green eyes. He wore round glasses. The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead which was shaped like a bolt of lightning. He had had it as long as he could remember and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had got it.

“In the attack by the dark wizard Voldemort when your parents were killed,” she had said. “I’m sure you’ll have lots of questions.” And she hugged him.

 

 

 

 

Rewritten from:
Rowling, J.K.. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. 1997. London: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

 

 

 

I’ve made mousse au chocolat, so if you’re feeling at all the way I am, come over and have some. Professor R.J. Lupin had it right, you know.

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY

Today’s Schedule:

Sleep in.

Brush teeth.

Stay in PJs.

Walk Dog.

Eat bagel with old Manhattan deli amount of cream cheese.

Drink coffee with all-the-creamer.

Sit on butt in living room playing LEGO Harry Potter from the very beginning and seeing how far I can get in one day.

Have Tea.

Eat super bowl of macaroni and cheese.

Keep playing.

Eventually have pizza and cherry coke.

Maybe watch some Bones.

Live Happily Ever After.

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Saving Quidditch

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Another cuppa?

Monday = Snape

My sanity level dissolves when I have an Extra Sunday and my husband does not:

 

Say you’re ill!

Pretend to break your leg!

Really break your leg!

 

 

 

(-Philosopher’s Stone by JK Rowling)

Harry Potter and the Ten Year Redo

A couple years ago, my brother-in-law and I were musing about all the remakes of popular movies hitting the theatres just 5 or 10 years after the original (although I think these days we’re getting some in as few as 2). The topic, as it usually does with me, turned to Harry Potter.

 

I love Harry Potter. If you weren’t aware of this, you are obviously new here. Let me give you the low-down: I LOVE HARRY POTTER.

 

But more importantly, I love the Harry Potter BOOKS.

 

The movies ranged from mediocre to brilliant, but lacked so many wonderful connecting elements, and included others that had little or no impact on the totality of the movie. And while some actors gave the characters a depth I could not imagine, even reading the books a dozen times, others were forgettable, or bland, or just good enough but could have been better. The actors who were perfect might be too old, or not around anymore, for our hypothetical remake, so we decided we would have to recast with people who would, or might be, appropriately aged by the time our films came into production. We also decided it would have to be a mini series, as there just isn’t time in a Hollywood feature for all the important parts. Mini series can be savored for much longer, too.

So Will and I, with my sister, Annika, set out to recast our new version. I present to you, my notes from said conversation, found yesterday in a box while looking for my husband’s W2s. I cracked myself up reading them to Nic this morning while he was getting out of the shower, because, I’m helpful like that.

I’d like to note, also, that I only just realized this morning who some of these people are, and now I understand more why they were named. Others, I still need to look up. There will likely be a follow up to this entry in which I give some up to date consideration of today’s theatrical society and provide a cast including my more recent findings.

 

Philosopher’s Stone II: Live Forever – AGAIN!

Petunia Dursley – Kristen Scott-Thomas

Dumbledore – Ian Mckellen (it’s always been Ian McKellen) or Geoffrey Rush

Prof. M. McGonagal – Emma Thompson, Tilda Swinton, Suzanna Harker

Hagrid – Nick Frost

Mrs Weasley – Kate Winslet

Snape – Tom Hardy or James MacAvoy

Filch – Ewan Bremner or Liam Cunningham

Nearly Headless Nick – Michael York

 

Chamber of Secrets II

Gilderoy Lockhard – Hugh Grant, Bruce Campbell, Ewan McGregor, Tim Roth, Rik Mayall, Orlando Bloom, Russell Brand, Karl Urban

Mr. Weasley – Jason Fleming

Lucius Malfoy – Liam Cunningham or Jude Law

Fudge – Simon Pegg

 

Prisoner of Azkaban II: Get Sirius!

Sirius Black – Jamie Bell (The kid from Billy Elliot, not my ex-boyfriend)

Remus Lupin – James McAvoy, Tom Hardy, Andrew-Lee Potts

Prof. Trelawney – Jennifer Saunders

 

Goblet of Fire II: Get Siriuser!

Mad-Eye Moody – Ray Winstone

Bagman – Nick Frost or John Hannah

Karkaroff – Dolph Lundgren

M. Delacour – Jean Reno

Mme. Delacour – Nicole Kidman

Lord Voldy-thing – Geoffrey Rush or Tim Roth

 

Order of the Phoenix II: Up in Flames!

Kingsley Shaklebolt – and I quote, ‘the dude from GI Joe’. (I can only assume I was referring to Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje. I admit it, I am a bad human being.)

 

Half Blood Prince II

Greyback – Ray Stevenson

Scrimjour – Sean Bean (you were all thinking it)

 

And this must have been prior to the release of Deathly Hallows. I’ll get to that in my next update.

Also, all them titles need subtitles, cuz, let’s get sirius here. Siriusly.

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