Harry Potter and the Ten Year Redo

A couple years ago, my brother-in-law and I were musing about all the remakes of popular movies hitting the theatres just 5 or 10 years after the original (although I think these days we’re getting some in as few as 2). The topic, as it usually does with me, turned to Harry Potter.


I love Harry Potter. If you weren’t aware of this, you are obviously new here. Let me give you the low-down: I LOVE HARRY POTTER.


But more importantly, I love the Harry Potter BOOKS.


The movies ranged from mediocre to brilliant, but lacked so many wonderful connecting elements, and included others that had little or no impact on the totality of the movie. And while some actors gave the characters a depth I could not imagine, even reading the books a dozen times, others were forgettable, or bland, or just good enough but could have been better. The actors who were perfect might be too old, or not around anymore, for our hypothetical remake, so we decided we would have to recast with people who would, or might be, appropriately aged by the time our films came into production. We also decided it would have to be a mini series, as there just isn’t time in a Hollywood feature for all the important parts. Mini series can be savored for much longer, too.

So Will and I, with my sister, Annika, set out to recast our new version. I present to you, my notes from said conversation, found yesterday in a box while looking for my husband’s W2s. I cracked myself up reading them to Nic this morning while he was getting out of the shower, because, I’m helpful like that.

I’d like to note, also, that I only just realized this morning who some of these people are, and now I understand more why they were named. Others, I still need to look up. There will likely be a follow up to this entry in which I give some up to date consideration of today’s theatrical society and provide a cast including my more recent findings.


Philosopher’s Stone II: Live Forever – AGAIN!

Petunia Dursley – Kristen Scott-Thomas

Dumbledore – Ian Mckellen (it’s always been Ian McKellen) or Geoffrey Rush

Prof. M. McGonagal – Emma Thompson, Tilda Swinton, Suzanna Harker

Hagrid – Nick Frost

Mrs Weasley – Kate Winslet

Snape – Tom Hardy or James MacAvoy

Filch – Ewan Bremner or Liam Cunningham

Nearly Headless Nick – Michael York


Chamber of Secrets II

Gilderoy Lockhard – Hugh Grant, Bruce Campbell, Ewan McGregor, Tim Roth, Rik Mayall, Orlando Bloom, Russell Brand, Karl Urban

Mr. Weasley – Jason Fleming

Lucius Malfoy – Liam Cunningham or Jude Law

Fudge – Simon Pegg


Prisoner of Azkaban II: Get Sirius!

Sirius Black – Jamie Bell (The kid from Billy Elliot, not my ex-boyfriend)

Remus Lupin – James McAvoy, Tom Hardy, Andrew-Lee Potts

Prof. Trelawney – Jennifer Saunders


Goblet of Fire II: Get Siriuser!

Mad-Eye Moody – Ray Winstone

Bagman – Nick Frost or John Hannah

Karkaroff – Dolph Lundgren

M. Delacour – Jean Reno

Mme. Delacour – Nicole Kidman

Lord Voldy-thing – Geoffrey Rush or Tim Roth


Order of the Phoenix II: Up in Flames!

Kingsley Shaklebolt – and I quote, ‘the dude from GI Joe’. (I can only assume I was referring to Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje. I admit it, I am a bad human being.)


Half Blood Prince II

Greyback – Ray Stevenson

Scrimjour – Sean Bean (you were all thinking it)


And this must have been prior to the release of Deathly Hallows. I’ll get to that in my next update.

Also, all them titles need subtitles, cuz, let’s get sirius here. Siriusly.

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